Family – Page 8 – The de-la-Haye Girls

The Great Escape

L finally gets on “the ladder”

In March this year, I received the most gut-wrenching news that can befall an actor: our beautiful production of Phantom of the Opera, which had barely been open for a month, was having to close due to the Coronavirus pandemic. I was completely devastated. Due to the nature of my job, I’m normally fairly resilient with the ups and downs of freelance work, but this one really, really hurt.

Vince and I had planned to move out of our lovely rental flat and explore the possibility of buying once I had finished my tour of the UK, in the summer of 2021. When my job closed, I felt like my whole five-year plan had been scuppered with it. That afternoon, we went out for a Covid-safe walk to clear our heads. During this ramble, Vince floated the idea that we bring our plans forward and rather than letting the pandemic get the better of us, we would use it to our advantage and get a head-start.

Oh how clever we thought we were! That evening we toasted with a couple of Coronas – the beer variety, not the viral one – to changing plans and settled in to an evening of house-hunting and interior lusting. Unfortunately for us, it seemed that every other first-time buyer in the UK had the same bright idea. The battle for good properties was fierce and not in a sexy “Selling Sunset” kinda way.

Thankfully there are plenty of incentives and schemes to help first-timers get on the ladder. What no one tells you is how long and arduous that process can be. I had been squirreling away my savings into a Help To Buy ISA (which gets a 25% top up from the Government on completion), so we had a healthy deposit, but this did not prevent banks interrogating my career and accounts to within an inch of their life. A number of friends who work in the theatre had cautioned me against even whispering that I was an actor in front of mortgage companies but I’m proud of what I have trained long and hard to do, and how I earn my crust, so “actor” was duly inserted in the box asking from my occupation. And then the cross-examination and Spanish Inquisition-esque probing began. I so should have listened to advice and simply given “part-time singing teacher” as my job. That’s definitely a lesson learned.

I didn’t go into house-buying wearing rose-coloured specs. I’ve watched enough Kirsty and Phil in my time to know that finding the house was the hardest part. Right? Right?? Wrong. We loved nearly all the properties we saw: Vince and I are fairly aligned in our design tastes (and on the rare occasion that we are not, he listens to me anyway(!)) We decided on “the one” in June -dramatic pause followed by a sharp intake of breath – and finally got the keys in October. I know that doesn’t seem so long in the grand, interminable scheme of 2020, but it felt like several lifetimes to me; as I was furloughed, I dedicated my every waking moment to helping this deal go through. I have no clue how people manage to move when they’re working full time or – as my superhero parents did – have young families to move too and are the last in a chain of nine households needing to move in perfect choreography.

The location we selected took us both by surprise. Despite being a pair of “town mice”, we fell in love with a new build in the heart of leafy Surrey, just outside Guildford. I’m delighted with how quickly we have embraced country life. Wellies and raincoats were among the first items we brought into the house and we made it our mission to discover which pubs were within walking distance of home. Our rapid assimilation into the Surrey green belt is possibly a result of the refocusing on what really matters a pandemic prompts, or perhaps because, try as we may to fight against it, the old adage is true and we all eventually become our parents. Whatever the reason, our reality is that we felt more content among the fields and quiet. And, also, that I just really, really, really want to get a cat and I needed a decent sized garden for this!

Our new garden featuring a couple of fairy rings

At the moment, we’re at a delicious half-way point: half moved out of our town flat and half moved into our new house. And the house is starting to fill with our belongings and to feel like home; as Vince shouted across the hallway to me yesterday evening: “It really feels like our kitchen now!” Of course we have the couple of inevitable, tedious, new-build snags to get sorted (an over-tightened hot water tap and a too-loose seal on a pipe into the boiler), the joy of waiting in all day on Monday for the satellite company to hook us up to the internet and TV and I know I’m going to have to brave a socially-distanced Ikea trip in the middle of half-term, but we’re in. I feel so blissfully happy and grateful to have achieved this.

Already planning on ideas for Christmas – I’ve never had a staircase to decorate!

A big thank you to all of my friends and family members who’ve put up with my whingeing and bad tempers for the summer. They all assured me that if I persevered, it would be worth it in the end. How completely right they were.

I’m sure I’ll be sharing some room tours here on the blog and over on the de-la-Haye Girls Instagram in the coming weeks, but for now I’m just enjoying making those early memories inside our new casa. Years from now, I hope to remember pizza dinners, sitting on the floor, surrounded by boxes and the ill-fated house “smudging” I decided to embark on, much to E’s enjoyment. “It stinks of weed!” she screamed as I wandered around, wafting the smoking sage bundle in each room. Her reaction was so very, very her and still tickles me. We’re off to buy blinds and curtains this weekend together, though she’s got me to sign in triplicate and cross my heart that said shopping trip will not involve Croydon Ikea. ~L

My Ends

Get out exploring with E.

Since the late 90s, the de-la-Haye ancestral seat has been on the outskirts of a small village on the borders of Surrey, Kent and the Sussexes. And by ancestral seat, I mean a small, farmer worker’s cottage and when I say late 90s, that’s the late 1990s. Still, you get my drift…

The ‘Rona and ensuing lockdown, partial lifting, tiering, rumoured circuit-breaker, and whatever comes next, have meant that the vast majority of us have been at home much more than BC (before Covid). Throughout April, again like many millions of us, I was uber busy establishing my home office, doing my bit to build the business as a viable virtual entity and baking and eating. When I look back, I reflect that all I did in April was work, sleep, bake, eat, repeat. I’m delighted to report that I smashed the national average weight gain of the Corona stone by a gut-busting 124 per cent.

May brought with it gorgeous weather, lighter evenings and futile attempts by me to fit into my summer clothes. I chomped my way through my final Bosh Boys’ choc-chip cookie – those zesty circles of delight are so addictive – laced-up my old trainers and started walking. (You’re not fooled by the “old trainers” line are you? You know me well enough now to be confident that I totally had to order three pairs of new trainers – pink, blue and green, thanks for asking – before I could contemplate hitting the tarmac.) Very slowly, but always upliftingly, me and Steve (my husband) started to explore our patch. We’ve lived here 23 years and discovered more about our local area in the first 23 days of walking than in all the previous years.

We stumbled across – literally – an airfield. Yup, an airfield. Three kilometres from our front door and you are standing in the middle of an airfield. Almost a quarter of a century living here and we hadn’t spotted this! It was the orange wind socks that gave it away. In the other direction, and on an exceptionally blowy day in May, we found Dry Hill trig point (Google trigonometric surveying, if curious). For a cartophile like me, this was thrilling. The highest point around, site of an Iron Age hillfort, a Scheduled Monument and just 2.8 kilometres away. Returning from Dry Hill we came across Matthew’s Bug Hotel, a landscaped resort for local insects, including porticoed entrance and detached solarium. We’ve walked past the bug hotel heaps of times this summer and every time I wonder who Matthew is. I hope he’s enjoyed this bit of woodland as much as I have.

Matthew’s Bug Hotel – should’ve been called an Air Bee’n’Bee

We’ve bravely crossed fields occupied by cows with menace in their eyes and followed a path across another that had a sign on the gate advising caution as police dogs trained there. We decided against using the permissive right of way across a local field that had a bull for a resident, although I subsequently read on a local community page that he’s very docile and fine with walkers. Maybe next time.

Some days, we’ve channelled our inner River Phoenix à la “Stand by Me” and crossed the main railway line to London at two different pedestrian level crossing. On other days we have, or rather I have, gone full Roberta Bobbie “Daddy, my Daddy” Waterbury and waved hello to passing trains from the Mill Lane bridge, though not with my red bloomers. I’ve had two toots and several waves back.

Dashing across the bridge to announce the winner of “Pooh Sticks”

We’ve played Pooh Sticks at Pooh Bridge in the Five Hundred Acre Wood, the inspiration for A A Milne’s Hundred Acre Wood. We’ve walked and cycled past Gulledge Farmhouse, which is Grade II* listed, but which now looks to be unoccupied and seems to stare at you from blackened windows. It is well on the way to Seriously Spooky classification. We’ve crossed the entrance-way to the 15 Century manor house used as a filming location for both “Anne of the Thousand Days” and “The Ghost Goes Gear”. On a bright Sunday morning, and with both Steve and my mum for company, we strolled to the ruins of 17 Century Brambletye House. Another bright weekend saw us puffing up the slope of the Greensand Ridge to Toy’s Hill but it was so worth it for truly spectacular views over the Weald of Kent from the top. As well as menacing cows and (allegedly) docile bulls, we’ve seen horses, sheep, goats, deer, llamas, ducks, geese, swans, pheasants, a heron, two owls, a very inquisitive fox and more squirrels than you can shake a stick at. We also inadvertently trespassed at Lingfield Racecourse, but legged it before the Rozzers could collar us!

The spectacular ruins of Brambletye House

Covid has ruined so many plans this year, and it’s not finished with us yet. Very unexpectedly, I’ve found exploring locally has been a silver lining. In anticipation of further confinement, I’ve spent a couple of hours this week elbow deep in OS Explorer maps. A Grade I listed windmill and Octavia Hill’s cottage currently top the “to do” list. In the interests of full disclosure, I have to concede that a pair of those cute and oh-so-environmentally-sound Allbirds boots rank pretty high up the list too – well, I can achieve anything in the right pair of shoes, even a winter of lockdown! ~ E

My Morning Routine

Get ready this morning with the de-la-Haye Girls.

A bright, crisp morning is probably our favourite time of the day. The possibility of the day, stretching out ahead, sparkling with potential. For the longest time we have both been fascinated by how others start their days, what tips and tricks people use to help maximise their productivity and wake up well.

With this in mind, we thought we’d share with you what each of our morning routines look like, perhaps to give you inspiration to spruce up your own AM habits…

L’s laid back morning of mindfulness

10am: Rise and shine! I’ve never been much of an early bird, especially if I’m working in the theatre the night before. Normally a show won’t come down until 10.30(ish). By the time I’ve had a drink with colleagues to decompress and travelled home it’s pushing midnight. I like to snuggle down with a crime procedural and get in a full nine or so hours of sleep. My body is pretty good at waking me up naturally, plus my boyfriend is now WFH so the gentle hum of a conference calls acts as my alarm clock. Still in my pjs, I stumble to the Nespresso machine. Coffee is an essential part of this de-la-Haye girl’s morning, except on Sundays when I treat myself to a Tetley.
11am: I carefully transfer the mug of magical liquid back to bed. Yes, I do get back into bed. There’s something so luxurious about it, sipping my brew in between the sheets. If you’ve got the time, I recommend you try it. I take this time in the morning to journal. Now wait – before you eye-roll – I think this act of self care is more common than we think. Some call it “morning pages”, others “free writing”, but whatever you call it, the process remains the same: you take some time simply to put pen to paper and clear your mind of all its mental chatter. You can use the pages to document all your worries or give gratitude or, mine and E’s favourite pastime, write a list. Stick some music on and let your mind wander!
11.30am: I air the bed, Febreezing and “Hinching” as I go. Then it’s into the bathroom to cleanse my face and brush my teeth. The less I put on my face the better my skin tends to be so warm water, a little moisturiser and some sunscreen in all I need. By this point I’m normally on my second cup of coffee. I grab the matches with my free hand and light a candle in each room. Even in the daytime, I just think they’re magic.
12pm: Hair goes up on top of my head and sports bra is wriggled into. If I’ve a show that evening then I take this time, just as morning slides into afternoon, to run. I aim to do a 5k three/four times a week. I normally hate every second of it but once in a blue moon, it’s not too bad and it’s always worth it for that post-run hit of endorphins. If I’m between jobs this is my time for yoga. I aim to do a little work on my mat each day. It is so much more than stretching and slow breathing: for me, yoga is a spiritual activity and it makes me feel so powerful. I notice such a difference on the days I don’t allow myself the time to practise.
12.30pm: I jump in the shower and do a quick vocal warm up. The steam is great for my voice which needs a bit of gentle coaxing to get going. Finally, I check my emails, Whatsapp messages and, of course, our blog. Often E will have sent something hilarious to the family group chat that brightens up my day. I catch up on any laptop-based work or teaching admin while I make my breakfast. I can’t bear eating first thing but once I’ve moved my body, my tummy will start to rumble. Brekky is undeniably my top meal of the day. Seriously, if I worked in an office all my meetings would be based around this meal time. Banana pancakes, smoked salmon and cream cheese bagel, sourdough with avocado and eggs and filthy Nutella oats are all on heavy rotation for me.
1pm: I double check my to do list, ticking off anything completed from the previous day and catch up with my boyfriend on his lunch break. Then I’m off out and about, masked up, teaching, rehearsals or auditioning. Ready to handle whatever a day in 2020 fancies throwing at me!

The happiest of mornings when this delivery arrives!

Zooming about with E in the early AM

My morning routine begins very differently to L – if L is an owl, I am a lark – but other parts of our routine are similar. Prior to the arrival of Covid, I travelled all over the UK and often overseas for work. My morning routine then would begin about 6am in whichever hotel I was staying in and had a laser-focus on getting ready to meet my clients and spend full days working with them. Since March, my morning routine has been rather different.
Any time between 5 – 7am, depending on who I am working with that day, and which part of the planet they are based, I’m woken by my alarm. I am “up and at ’em” as I’ve learned from very stressful experience that the snooze button really doesn’t do me any favours. I head straight to the bathroom to spruce up for the day, avoiding, if at all possible, a morning shower that involves washing my hair. A warm body shower is perfect, but my hair is thick and heavy and I am incapable of blow-dry styling myself so if I wash it in the morning, I drip all over myself for hours and I’m lucky if it’s fully dry by late afternoon. My morning face routine has not changed for 25 years: Liz Earle Cleanse and Polish, followed by Liz Earle skin tonic and, yes, you guessed it, a mixture of Liz Earle Skin Repair and Superskin moisturisers. I used to spend about 30 minutes each morning on my daily make-up but my professional life is now based around Zoom and I have discovered the beautify filter, so a lick of mascara and my lipstick (always) is all I need.

7:30am: downstairs to five, unalterable, “must dos”: feed Tyler and let him out for his morning constitutional; take my fistful of vitamins with a glass of Berocca; boil the kettle for a steaming mug of fruit or peppermint tea (I don’t do coffee or “normal” tea, and don’t get me started on the vileness that is green tea); crack open my journal to capture thoughts and notes that have occurred to me overnight and remind myself about what I plotted the previous evening as my actions for the day; and have a quick shufty at the latest comings and goings on my social media. I am verging on the compulsive with my journal; it is part reflective log, part daily agenda but mainly lists. I then hit work, invariably these days via one video conferencing platform or another, and there I am, in my little broadcast studio cum office, powered by Twinings’ peach, orange and boabab tea until lunchtime.
12:30pm: my morning ends with food! Like Lily, I don’t eat in the morning but come early afternoon, two slices of The Sussex Kitchen’s delicious wholemeal sourdough are plunged into the toaster and the latest jar of Marmite crunchy peanut butter is cracked open. It truly is the superior brunch and, in the interests of candour, I share with you that most days, I am too impatient for the toast to pop and snaffle of couple of teaspoons of the Marmite peanut butter straight into ma bouche – yum-yum! These two slices, a piece of fruit (I’m not a complete savage) and another bucket of Twinings set me up for the afternoon’s work.

The weekend routine starts later, of course, and is less structured and more relaxed; Tyler, tea and toast are constants though.